Taming Your Tongue

Sigh......If you know like I know, taming your tongue can be a very challenging thing to do. However, as believers we know that more often then not, well, we need to slap our trap!

This can be particularly difficult because as people, particularly women, we love to talk. We are opinionated and we live in a culture that encourages us to express our opinion, gossip, and quarrel. We watch shows that are centered around women talking to each other and about each other. It is our source of entertainment.

When someone crosses us, it is almost natural to  retort back, however, usually it does not solve the problem. It takes an incredible amount of humility to hold your tongue, which many of us don't yet possess.

When we are in need of a vent session, we often open allow all sorts of reckless statements to fly out of our mouth, not paying attention to the type of life that we speak into situations.

Then there are the infamous gossip sessions, sometimes disguised as girls nights, that at some point in our lives we have participated in, whether intentionally, or unintentionally. Even if you are just listening to gossip, you are a participant.

So how do we control all of this? How do we balance these issues? How do we know when to speak and when to shut up?

First, let's take a look at what the bible says about this issue. There are a ton of scriptures on taming the tongue, but I am just going to highlight a few.

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1
I think we would be better off if we intentionally chose kinder words. We may really feel entitled to tell someone off, but what does it actually solve? You feel better? Who cares about feelings? Do we ever think that people might be more apt to listen to us if our words are kinder and if we spoke up less? Have you ever met someone that has something to say about everything? After a while, you just tune them out! When you say something, try to be kind, and make sure it is worth saying.

If you claim to be religious but don't control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless. James 1:26
This scripture really got me. Basically your Christianity does not mean a hill of beans if you cannot control your tongue. It actually makes sense. As believers we are supposed to act and respond differently- set an example. Sometimes you are going to slip up, and that is ok, but if you have reckless mouth all the time, you may want to work on that.


And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water?  James 3:11
Our words should be kind, uplifting, inspiring, positive, and clean. At least the majority of the time. If half the time you gossip, put down people, curse, and speak negativity, you are confusing people. You may even be confusing yourself.


The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking; the mouth of the wicked overflow with evil words. Proverbs 15:28
Think before you speak! If we actually take the time to choose our words and how we say them, we might avoid a lot of problems. How many times have you said something, but later on you regretted your choice of words or your tone of voice?

There are several more scriptures on taming the tongue. My favorite happen to all come out of the book of Proverbs and the book of James. The bible actually equates those who can't control their tongues to fools. I don't want to be a fool all of my life. I want to be wise! Don't you?

There are several practical ways you can start:

Avoid potential situations to gossip. If you know your coworkers gossip at lunch, just stay away.

Write positive scriptures down. Instead of avoiding negative things to say, intentionally speak positive affirmations. This really helps me because sometimes when I am going through things, I automatically resort to the worst-case scenarios, and this is a great way to help me avoid speaking life into these made up scenarios in my head.

Everyone needs to vent sometimes. However, if you want to vent everyday, at the same time, about the same thing, that might be a bit much. Sometimes just talking to God helps, cast your cares on him. Perhaps you can journal. I talk to him just like I talk to my girlfriends.

Make your girls nights positive. Sometimes my friends and I decide on specific, positive topics to engage in over a glass of wine, and I promise you it is just as fun!

Every time someone crosses us, we do not need to bite back. Learn how to pick and choose battles.  It takes a lot of pride to just be quiet. This probably takes the most work. Sometimes you can address the situation at a later time when you are less heated. Many times if we choose to address it later, we calm down and decide it does not deserve our attention at all!

How many times do we blow God's big plan for us because we cannot stop flapping our gums? Some information is only meant to be kept between you and God. He will let you know when to share and how to share, if he wants you to share at all. Remember, there is a time, place, and season for everything!

Now I know we are all works in progress. I know God is graceful. I know that it doesn't take all of that to get to heaven, but I want to be intentional about working on my character. The same way we are intentional about going to work for someone else everyday, we can be that serious about working on ourselves. I want to be the woman that God called me to be, and I think he desires for us to be wise, classy, and have self-control.

B :)

Pretty Purposed....

Off to another week.....another week to do your will. God, I ask that you would speak to me clearly this week. Give me wisdom and allow me to hear the inner voice from within. I ask that ever destination and duty be within your will, and if it is not, intervene, because you know what is best for me and your kingdom.....

God, I thank you for the provisions you've already made and the doors you've already opened. I speak divine connections and appointments this week that only you can make. Give me a fresh anointing to live and unleash my power, potential, and purpose according to what you want for me. 

Your word says that I am your handiwork, that is recreated in Christ, to do good works that you  have predestined for me (Ephesians 2:10). God, I want to be in alignment with you. I know you have a purpose for me....a pretty purpose for your kingdom. 

Your daughter......

Trusting God in the Dark

Hey pretty girl! It has been a while! Today's blog is going to touch on several different concepts, that all relate to being able to trust God. Recently I have had to trust God with alot of things.

When we experience trials in our life, it is a good time for our faith to grow because we usually have two choices, doubt God or trust him. It is very easy to talk about our faith when everything in our life is going smoothly, but what happens when your life is suddenly interrupted and you have to make some tough decisions?

When making a decision, it is critical to fully rely on God. Now here is the kicker. What if God asks you to do something that is completely illogical? Something that does not make sense? Do you trust him in the dark?

Recently, I had to take a leave of absence from work. Now, the enemy instantly began to invoke fear in my head. I began to wonder how I was going to pay my bills. So naturally, my first instinct was to get a job to fill in the monetary gaps until I could return to my full-time job. However, God did not tell me to rush out and get just any  job. God actually confirmed to me that I needed to sit back, collect myself, and regroup.He actually told me that I needed to start pursuing some other dreams and goals of mine. If I was able to find a job that allowed me to be within the will of God, then I needed to take it, but if I couldn't, then I would still be fine.

Now I am going to be honest sis, the thought of sitting back and collecting myself sounded silly. I felt as if I needed to be collecting a check so that I could pay my rent, car payment, and all of the other mandatory bills. I needed to put food on the table. For goodness sake, I had a three year old to support.

So I wrestled with the idea of what God wanted me to do versus what made sense to me. I mean I wrestled. I figured that if I was within the will of God, then he would make the provisions necessary. Anytime God wants us to do something, he makes the provisions for it and he gives us peace.

So I have continued to look for jobs, but no one has called me back. That within itself shows me that I am within God's will. When he wants me to work, then a job within my capabilities will present itself.  I am still here, my bills are paid, there is food on the table, and my son and I are fine. I am not drinking champagne and shopping every day, but my needs are met. Every financial fear that I've had has been working in my favor, and I know that it is only by the grace of God.

How do I know that it is God? Because it is nothing that I have done! So it has to be God!

I wrote this scripture in my journal, the day after I had to go on leave from my job:

And my God will liberally supply (fill to the full) your every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19 AMP)

God also dropped it in my spirit to tithe. I am going to be honest. It killed me to tithe, knowing that I am not working, but I am learning that I have to be obedient and trust God. He knows what is best for me, even when I don't. The day after I tithed, I received a financial blessing the next day that was exactly ten times the amount that I had tithed.

I don't know what tomorrow brings, but what I do know is that God and I have this thing going on.....where if I'm obedient and I trust him, I will be fine. Even in the dark.

You will only know if you try.....sis

B :)