Since then I have honestly had a range of emotions and many questions. If I can be honest, I am an inquisitive person, and I ask God a lot of questions too. One of my main questions is why....
Why is this happening? Why hasn't this door opened? Why me?
Recently I was laying in my bed in the wee hours of the morning questioning God, so I began to journal to him. I woke up and decided to read a word. When I opened my bible app on my I-phone, the word of the day was from Romans 11:33. It read as clear as day:
Who can measure the wealth and wisdom and knowledge of God? Who can understand his decisions or explain what he does?
I knew instantly, that he was speaking to me.
We cannot see Gods plans because we often operate in the now, but God already knows the plans he has for us. Even when things seem hard, he is always working behind the scenes.
Jeremiah 29:11 says: For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
His timing and his way is everything. Things that do not feel good to my flesh are really working for me in the spiritual realm. I just have to TRUST that they are. Trusting can be so hard, because I want control and I want to feel good. I don't want to feel uncomfortable.
Romans 8:28: We know that God is always at work for the good of everyone who loves him. They are the ones God has chosen for his purpose.
So the question I am asking myself now is, why not me? I am going to hold his hand the entire way through. I am going to cry to him, laugh with him, journal to him, dance for him, and lean on him everyday.
You can do the same sis.....
