Why?

It has been a couple of weeks since I blogged, and I can admit a lot has happened since then. Funny how my last blog was about being transparent with others because you never know how your testimony can help them.

Since then I have honestly had a range of emotions and many questions. If I can be honest, I am an inquisitive person, and I ask God a lot of questions too. One of my main questions is why....

Why is this happening? Why hasn't this door opened? Why me?

Recently I was laying in  my bed in the wee hours of the morning questioning God, so I began to journal to him. I woke up and decided to read a word. When I opened my bible app on my I-phone, the word of the day was from Romans 11:33. It read as clear as day:

Who can measure the wealth and wisdom and knowledge of God? Who can understand his decisions or explain what he does?

I knew instantly, that he was speaking to me.

We cannot see Gods plans because we often operate in the now, but God already knows the plans he has for us. Even when things seem hard, he is always working behind the scenes.

Jeremiah 29:11 says: For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

His timing and his way is everything. Things that do not feel good to my flesh are really working for me in the spiritual realm. I just have to TRUST that they are. Trusting can be so hard, because I want control and I want to feel good. I don't want to feel uncomfortable.

Romans 8:28: We know that God is always at work for the good of everyone who loves him. They are the ones God has chosen for his purpose.

So the question I am asking myself now is, why not me? I am going to hold his hand the entire way through. I am going to cry to him, laugh with him, journal to him, dance for him, and lean on him everyday.



You can do the same sis.....

Don't be Afraid to Share

Have you ever wanted to open up or share something with someone, but you were scared? Your heart told you to, but your mind said don't?

Perhaps your thoughts sounded like this...

"I can't share this! It's too personal!"  "What will they think of me?" "I am the only one who is going through this!"  "This is embarrassing."

I am here to let you know honey, that is the trick of the enemy. The enemy wants to condemn us.  We are people and we are meant to connect and share our thoughts and experiences.  Your testimony may be what delivers you and someone else.  Now clearly that does not mean you need to share EVERYTHING with EVERYBODY. As you become closer to God, the holy spirit will nudge you when it is appropriate to share your testimony or release something.  The holy spirit may even nudge you to go public with your testimony.

The holy spirit nudged me once to share something with someone. This person is someone I only knew for a few months, but I was obedient and shared what was on my heart....well guess what? That person had the SAME testimony. I didn't feel so alone, I felt like I could manage!

However, I will say that as a woman, I realize, that many of us don't share because we don't trust! We are surrounded by catty, vindictive, petty perceptions and images of women. We may even know women like this. It might be you!

You may even be scared your friends are going to judge you.  Honey, you may need some new friends. Maybe you are the listener. Maybe someone has shared something with you that is a bit uncomfortable....try not to judge. Don't be the person that balls their face up, and asks a bunch of weird questions to make that person even more uncomfortable.

Luke 8:39
"Go back home and tell everyone
how much God has done for you."
The man then went all over town,
telling everything that Jesus had done for him.

Let the spirit lead you.....

Bianca

My First Blog

Hi everyone. I am so excited to finally start blogging!  I've wanted to blog for so long, but I kept playing around. I am finally being obedient and doing something that I feel "tugged" to do. 

I will tell you a little bit about myself. I am a 25 year old native of Petersburg, Virginia! I am a Christian, mom, daughter, sister, friend, and fifth grade teacher. I enjoy listening to and connecting with people....I like to talk and express my thoughts to others.....and I love to journal to God....


I have also embarked upon an exciting, new journey..... a true love of self, love of life, and love of learning..... It has not always been this way....when you begin to find true peace and self-fulfillment, you began to realize...maybe I wasn't so happy before....but God is great! My blog will cover many aspects of my life, and I pray that my testimony, talents, thoughts, and trials may inspire or help someone else. 

Perhaps you have felt the same way I have. We probably have a lot in common! You may feel that there is more to life than just existing....more to life than routine and rituals...you may even feel as if you haven't truly found yourself! Can I encourage you honey? It is ok.....and the first step to finding yourself is just asking.....truth is...I am still looking :) 













You are a flower ready to bloom sis....

Bianca