The Reason for the Season

Wow! It has been a while. I pray that all has been well with you. My life has been a roller coaster lately, but the good thing is, God is the same everyday. I am grateful to see another holiday season, and happy to say that my recent persecutions and sufferings have changed some of my views of the holidays for the better.

As a young mom, I have been granted the gift of shaping how my son views and shapes the holidays, and since he was three this year, he actually could understand the meaning of Christmas. No doubt, God made no mistakes with how things went in my life this year. Everything was all in his perfect will. I am excited to share with you how we spent this Christmas, and maybe it will ignite some ideas for you as well. More importantly, I wanted to teach my son, the real reason for the season.

1. Do some kind of service 

This year my non-profit ran a toy drive for the children of incarcerated parents. We collected toys and delivered them to the jail. The parents were able to give their child a toy on Christmas day. The volunteer coordinator from Riverside Regional Jail said this was empowering for the parents, and meaningful to the children. There are so many service opportunities to get involved with. Just helping one person makes a big difference. Initially I tried to hide the toys from my little one, but of course he found them, seeing as though we live in a two bedroom apartment. It provided a great, teachable moment. I explained to my son that the loads of toys that were in the apartment were not for him, but they were for other children, thus teaching him that it is not all about him in life-it is a joy to give to others. 

2. Have a small gathering with family or friends

I hosted a light social at my house to top off the toy drive. Light refreshments and wine were provided. It was nice to talk and laugh with people. We collected more toys as well. The cost to do this was very inexpensive. You can also tell people to bring a dish to offset the cost. Just being in the presence of wonderful people was a joy!

3. Invite someone over for the holidays

Many of us forget that not everyone has family to spend the holidays with. I invited a friend over on Christmas Eve just for wine and lunch, and she shared with me how she is usually alone for Christmas. It was nice just to make her smile with wine and lunch. No, it was not a huge gesture, but just the company of others can cheer someone up a little. Just think about all the college students, military, and other people that are alone for the holidays. This was refreshing for me as well.

4. Focus on the story of Jesus Christ

This year I did several things to teach my child about the greatest story ever told:

We read a wonderful, children's book about Jesus's birth.

Instead of cookies for Santa, he made a birthday card for Jesus and a thank you card for God.

We had conversations with God about the holiday.

My son knows that God provided his gifts. Santa Claus is a play friend to us, just like superheroes and Ninja Turtles. I allow my son to see and read about Santa, however, I talk about Jesus. My son experiences the same excitement that everyone else's child does. James 1:17 says every good gift comes from above, and I chose to stick to that.

5.  Encourage your child to give

I did not purchase gifts this year because I am still recovering from being out of work for months, however, I did get my son's teacher and two of his friends small gifts. My son was so excited to give!
I explained to him that we give gifts just like the three wise-men presented Jesus with gifts. He shared his favorite cookies with his friends at school, and we also baked cookies Christmas Eve to share with friends.

6. Give your child something to look forward to

It is easy to over indulge our children because we want to see them happy, and we live in a materialistic world. We also live in a world that showcases everything due to social media. It is easy to grow discontent, become envious, and compare and contrast what we have. Well this Christmas, I decided to only purchase two things that were good investments for my son, and he loves them. He got his own tablet and a Ninja Turtle Playhut. He has been so happy with those two gifts. He wants to stay in the playhut all day! On Christmas morning he thanked God for the gifts! He also received gifts from family, and he was able to personally hug them and tell them thank you. I am so glad I did not try to run and get him everything under the sun, just for the sake of my own self-fulfillment. I let God lead me on what to buy him. He has enough. I want to foster contentment in my child.

7. Spread Spiritual Gifts and Fruits

Love, peace, joy, special knowledge, and faith are all wonderful gifts to spread all the time. Stop feeling pressured to purchase materialistic gifts. Someone told me that they felt like they had to buy someone else a gift just because that person, whom they barely knew, purchased them a gift. That is ridiculous. Many people say they feel bad because they cannot give all the people they want gifts. This season is supposed to bring happiness, not sadness. People get into car accidents ripping and running in the holiday hustle and bustle. Bills do not get paid and credit cards are being used. I am not saying to not buy gifts, because if you have it to spend, then do so. I like nice things just like anyone, however, I think our focus needs to shift. Start buying gifts early in the year, do a gift exchange if you have a huge family or group of friends, set aside a holiday fund, just don't rob Peter to buy gifts for Paul and everyone else looking for a handout. I specifically told people to not get me a gift this year. I'd rather them save the money and do something for themselves. A friend of mine lost $700 dollars worth of gifts through UPS. They are going to locate the package or refund his money, but he was naturally bothered because he could not take the gifts to his family. He was worried about what they would think. Well if someone is going to be upset because they did not get a gift from you, perhaps you need reevaluate them being apart of your life.

Well, those are just a few of my thoughts. Remember the reason for the season!

Cards for God and Jesus

Delivering toys to the jail

Light social/toy drive with friends

Making cookies to share

Two special gifts for my little one

Taming Your Tongue

Sigh......If you know like I know, taming your tongue can be a very challenging thing to do. However, as believers we know that more often then not, well, we need to slap our trap!

This can be particularly difficult because as people, particularly women, we love to talk. We are opinionated and we live in a culture that encourages us to express our opinion, gossip, and quarrel. We watch shows that are centered around women talking to each other and about each other. It is our source of entertainment.

When someone crosses us, it is almost natural to  retort back, however, usually it does not solve the problem. It takes an incredible amount of humility to hold your tongue, which many of us don't yet possess.

When we are in need of a vent session, we often open allow all sorts of reckless statements to fly out of our mouth, not paying attention to the type of life that we speak into situations.

Then there are the infamous gossip sessions, sometimes disguised as girls nights, that at some point in our lives we have participated in, whether intentionally, or unintentionally. Even if you are just listening to gossip, you are a participant.

So how do we control all of this? How do we balance these issues? How do we know when to speak and when to shut up?

First, let's take a look at what the bible says about this issue. There are a ton of scriptures on taming the tongue, but I am just going to highlight a few.

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1
I think we would be better off if we intentionally chose kinder words. We may really feel entitled to tell someone off, but what does it actually solve? You feel better? Who cares about feelings? Do we ever think that people might be more apt to listen to us if our words are kinder and if we spoke up less? Have you ever met someone that has something to say about everything? After a while, you just tune them out! When you say something, try to be kind, and make sure it is worth saying.

If you claim to be religious but don't control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless. James 1:26
This scripture really got me. Basically your Christianity does not mean a hill of beans if you cannot control your tongue. It actually makes sense. As believers we are supposed to act and respond differently- set an example. Sometimes you are going to slip up, and that is ok, but if you have reckless mouth all the time, you may want to work on that.


And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water?  James 3:11
Our words should be kind, uplifting, inspiring, positive, and clean. At least the majority of the time. If half the time you gossip, put down people, curse, and speak negativity, you are confusing people. You may even be confusing yourself.


The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking; the mouth of the wicked overflow with evil words. Proverbs 15:28
Think before you speak! If we actually take the time to choose our words and how we say them, we might avoid a lot of problems. How many times have you said something, but later on you regretted your choice of words or your tone of voice?

There are several more scriptures on taming the tongue. My favorite happen to all come out of the book of Proverbs and the book of James. The bible actually equates those who can't control their tongues to fools. I don't want to be a fool all of my life. I want to be wise! Don't you?

There are several practical ways you can start:

Avoid potential situations to gossip. If you know your coworkers gossip at lunch, just stay away.

Write positive scriptures down. Instead of avoiding negative things to say, intentionally speak positive affirmations. This really helps me because sometimes when I am going through things, I automatically resort to the worst-case scenarios, and this is a great way to help me avoid speaking life into these made up scenarios in my head.

Everyone needs to vent sometimes. However, if you want to vent everyday, at the same time, about the same thing, that might be a bit much. Sometimes just talking to God helps, cast your cares on him. Perhaps you can journal. I talk to him just like I talk to my girlfriends.

Make your girls nights positive. Sometimes my friends and I decide on specific, positive topics to engage in over a glass of wine, and I promise you it is just as fun!

Every time someone crosses us, we do not need to bite back. Learn how to pick and choose battles.  It takes a lot of pride to just be quiet. This probably takes the most work. Sometimes you can address the situation at a later time when you are less heated. Many times if we choose to address it later, we calm down and decide it does not deserve our attention at all!

How many times do we blow God's big plan for us because we cannot stop flapping our gums? Some information is only meant to be kept between you and God. He will let you know when to share and how to share, if he wants you to share at all. Remember, there is a time, place, and season for everything!

Now I know we are all works in progress. I know God is graceful. I know that it doesn't take all of that to get to heaven, but I want to be intentional about working on my character. The same way we are intentional about going to work for someone else everyday, we can be that serious about working on ourselves. I want to be the woman that God called me to be, and I think he desires for us to be wise, classy, and have self-control.

B :)

Pretty Purposed....

Off to another week.....another week to do your will. God, I ask that you would speak to me clearly this week. Give me wisdom and allow me to hear the inner voice from within. I ask that ever destination and duty be within your will, and if it is not, intervene, because you know what is best for me and your kingdom.....

God, I thank you for the provisions you've already made and the doors you've already opened. I speak divine connections and appointments this week that only you can make. Give me a fresh anointing to live and unleash my power, potential, and purpose according to what you want for me. 

Your word says that I am your handiwork, that is recreated in Christ, to do good works that you  have predestined for me (Ephesians 2:10). God, I want to be in alignment with you. I know you have a purpose for me....a pretty purpose for your kingdom. 

Your daughter......

Trusting God in the Dark

Hey pretty girl! It has been a while! Today's blog is going to touch on several different concepts, that all relate to being able to trust God. Recently I have had to trust God with alot of things.

When we experience trials in our life, it is a good time for our faith to grow because we usually have two choices, doubt God or trust him. It is very easy to talk about our faith when everything in our life is going smoothly, but what happens when your life is suddenly interrupted and you have to make some tough decisions?

When making a decision, it is critical to fully rely on God. Now here is the kicker. What if God asks you to do something that is completely illogical? Something that does not make sense? Do you trust him in the dark?

Recently, I had to take a leave of absence from work. Now, the enemy instantly began to invoke fear in my head. I began to wonder how I was going to pay my bills. So naturally, my first instinct was to get a job to fill in the monetary gaps until I could return to my full-time job. However, God did not tell me to rush out and get just any  job. God actually confirmed to me that I needed to sit back, collect myself, and regroup.He actually told me that I needed to start pursuing some other dreams and goals of mine. If I was able to find a job that allowed me to be within the will of God, then I needed to take it, but if I couldn't, then I would still be fine.

Now I am going to be honest sis, the thought of sitting back and collecting myself sounded silly. I felt as if I needed to be collecting a check so that I could pay my rent, car payment, and all of the other mandatory bills. I needed to put food on the table. For goodness sake, I had a three year old to support.

So I wrestled with the idea of what God wanted me to do versus what made sense to me. I mean I wrestled. I figured that if I was within the will of God, then he would make the provisions necessary. Anytime God wants us to do something, he makes the provisions for it and he gives us peace.

So I have continued to look for jobs, but no one has called me back. That within itself shows me that I am within God's will. When he wants me to work, then a job within my capabilities will present itself.  I am still here, my bills are paid, there is food on the table, and my son and I are fine. I am not drinking champagne and shopping every day, but my needs are met. Every financial fear that I've had has been working in my favor, and I know that it is only by the grace of God.

How do I know that it is God? Because it is nothing that I have done! So it has to be God!

I wrote this scripture in my journal, the day after I had to go on leave from my job:

And my God will liberally supply (fill to the full) your every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19 AMP)

God also dropped it in my spirit to tithe. I am going to be honest. It killed me to tithe, knowing that I am not working, but I am learning that I have to be obedient and trust God. He knows what is best for me, even when I don't. The day after I tithed, I received a financial blessing the next day that was exactly ten times the amount that I had tithed.

I don't know what tomorrow brings, but what I do know is that God and I have this thing going on.....where if I'm obedient and I trust him, I will be fine. Even in the dark.

You will only know if you try.....sis

B :)

Clean Up My Mess

Hey....you know we can be very hard on ourselves. We often think about all of the things we have said or done wrong. We think about our failures and past mistakes. We wreck our brains with the same questions. What if I did this differently? What if I chose this guy? What if I did not say this? Well maybe you don't, but I will admit, sometimes I do.

You might even replay the sin that may be currently happening in your life.  You might begin to feel bad and unworthy of moving forward in Christ. Always remember condemnation is from the enemy, conviction comes from God. When I am convicted, it inspires me to change, and I don't feel bad. I just feel as if God is speaking to me and leading me to change something.

When I am condemning myself, that is when the negative thoughts come in. I start thinking things like, well I can't join this ministry or talk to this person about this...because I am currently in this. I have even heard people say things like they don't feel ready to move forward with God because of some habit they have in their life that God might not approve of. Honey, honey, honey!!!! God will meet you right where you are. If we wait until everything is perfect in our lives, then we will be waiting forever.

Sometimes it starts with an intentional decision! It's not always about waiting around until we FEEL like doing something. If I relied on my feelings- nothing would get done. Honestly sis, I often FEEL like lounging all day, eating ice cream, and playing on my I-phone, but I make an intentional decision to get up, go to work, take care of my son, etc. Your feelings will catch up with your intentional decision eventually.

The funny part about it is, God is not even focused on all of our silly sins. Once we ask for sincere forgiveness, he has moved on! Yes honey! We are stuck like chuck, but God has moved on! Honestly, I think when we are all messed up, we are the perfect candidates for God to use. People can truly see the glory of God, when he heals or changes a person.

Jeremiah 18:6:  Oh Israel, can I not do to you as this potter has done to his clay? As the clay is in potter's hand, so are you in my hand (NLT).

See? God can mold us! Then he can get all the glory! We just have to rely on him.

A person with problems is real, relate-able, and relevant today. If you are too perfect, you need to exit stage left- immediately. Think about all the people God used in the bible. The Samaritan woman, the great Apostle Paul, Peter, Kind David- I mean the list goes on and on.

Philippians 1:6: And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns (NLT).

He is not just going to leave you right where you are! He will continue working on you until it is finished. That makes me feel good to know that he is not done with me yet. He isn't going to leave something halfway done like us humans tend to do. He is not just going to drop you like a bad habit. Completion!

People tend to see your mistakes, your past, your drama, and your faults, but God sees something different.
Everyone cannot see where God is taking you.   You cannot place your hope and trust in humans, including yourself. They are inconsistent and fickle. God sticks by you in your drama.


Now I don't know what is keeping you from moving forward or sharing your story, but he will get you right together, but in the meantime, you need to keep going to church, keep studying the word, and keep encouraging others. Maybe your past is full of sin. Maybe you did drugs or slept around. Maybe you have a sorry guy you deal with, honey, whatever it is- he can use you. Maybe your present is full of sin. Some of you are probably thinking that you don't have any of these problems, but maybe you are just a mean person. Maybe you are judgmental, or a gossip, or stuck-up. Either way, God invites you to come settle it with him. He is not looking at all of your past and current transgressions. You would be surprised at what happens when you come closer to him, some of that old mess begins to just fall off-in DRAMATIC ways. I just get so excited knowing that he cleans up messes.

                                                 

Isaiah 1:18: "Come now, let's settle this," says the Lord. "Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow." "Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool." (NLT)

The Most Intimate Relationship a Girl Can Have

Many people have asked me how do I spend time with God....What does it look like? Where? How does it sound? How often do I do it? Just a ton of questions!!!

Honestly, there are several different ways I spend time with him. There is no one way. My way may differ from others, but there is no specific, correct way.  Hopefully some of these pointers will help someone. 

First, let me start off by saying, when I initially began to spend time with him, I felt that it was out of duty and obligation, and I don't think God desires that for us. I would try to do it at night time, after I have given myself to my son, my students, my family and friends, and honestly I would fall asleep! I was over it honey! 

So I poured my heart out to him one day, and asked him to reveal himself to me and give me a strong, continual desire to seek him.  I started to seek him in the morning, before I did anything. I would get up about an hour earlier than normal and pray, journal, talk to him, and read devotionals. Before I knew it, I felt as if I couldn't start my day without doing these things! I began to feel dependent on him. Now this doesn't mean that I don't have a day or two that I sleep in, but my desire for him began to increase every day. 

I pray before I spend time with him. I also journal to him and speak to him. When I journal, I write down all my problems, successes, failures, feelings, EVERYTHING. Even the stuff I feel uncomfortable about writing. God already knows my thoughts, but when I write, it helps me to release some things. I feel more peaceful afterwards. Instead of venting to any and everybody, I write to him. I can also look back through my journal and see patterns and common denominators. I love to look back and see personal prayers I have written to God and see how they have manifested. I write down confirmations he has given me. It is so exciting just to take peek back sometimes. 

Usually when I spend time with him, I play worship music. Music is so powerful. It moves you! The same way you go to a party or ride in your car and you are moved by a song- it is the same with worship music! It sets a mood or tone! When I am writing I play music, and sometimes I  actually get up and dance. (I am in the dance ministry at my church.) Music is so powerful. Some people are afraid they are going to cry when they play worship music. That's ok! He wants us to pour out to him. 

After I have poured my heart out to him, I sit down and read a devotional. Actually I read several sometimes. Now there are several different devotionals you can choose from. Some of my current reads are "Dear Jesus" by Sarah Young, and "How God Grows a Woman of Wisdom" by Anita Higman. Our Daily Bread is a good one to read too. Devotionals are based on scriptures, so I will go and read the entire chapter of scripture the devotional of the day is based on. 

If I am experiencing a particular problem, I will look up scriptures that are specific to that problem. Then the Lord just leads me to certain places to read, and everyday I am amazed at the things he reveals to me. I use sticky notes to write down things he reveals to me, or I write it in my journal afterwards. Its crazy because sometimes the holy spirit will lead me to a particular book in the bible, and God speaks directly to situations I am facing. When that happens, I get chills and I cry because I just KNOW God is so real and he speaks to us. 

When I read the bible, I use my bible app on my tablet or I-phone because it allows me to read it in several different translations, which provide a better understanding for me. My favorite are the New Living Translation, Message version, Amplified version, New International Readers version, and  the Contemporary English version. 

God is everywhere. I subscribe to newsletters via email and I follow inspirational pages on social media. There are many online bible studies you can do by yourself. We are fortunate to have all these different avenues to use today! 

Many times when I am in my car, I listen to sermons. I will literally ask God to point me to what sermon I need to hear, and he never lets me down! I talk to God in the car like he is a friend. I may look crazy if you pull up next to me, but oh well. 

My dance ministry is an instrumental part of my growth with God. We have different assignments we do,  bible studies, and we fast, pray, and consecrate ourselves often. Every song we minister to has a bible study or scripture behind it. We don't perform, we minister. Once we have learned the choreography, it is our responsibility to go to a deep place and minister through the art of dance. 

Sometimes during my resource break at work, I listen to sermons or music while I am working. Honestly, constantly spending time with God keeps me calm, grounded, and convicted. It keeps me less agitated and snappy with people. Trust me there is a lot I could be snappy about right now! Spending time with him also directs my day. I used to do whatever I wanted to do. Now I ask him how he wants my day to go. You would be surprised at the things he blocks during my day or the opportunities that present themselves! He makes my day smooth, organized, and clear. I am not cluttered and confused. I have even started asking him about small things. If I want to look a certain way, I ask him to make the provision for it and help me with my hair, makeup, clothes, etc.  

If only I knew then what I knew now!!!!!!  Oh the different choices I would have made! 

He desires to be so intimate with you sis......

Bianca :)

Why?

It has been a couple of weeks since I blogged, and I can admit a lot has happened since then. Funny how my last blog was about being transparent with others because you never know how your testimony can help them.

Since then I have honestly had a range of emotions and many questions. If I can be honest, I am an inquisitive person, and I ask God a lot of questions too. One of my main questions is why....

Why is this happening? Why hasn't this door opened? Why me?

Recently I was laying in  my bed in the wee hours of the morning questioning God, so I began to journal to him. I woke up and decided to read a word. When I opened my bible app on my I-phone, the word of the day was from Romans 11:33. It read as clear as day:

Who can measure the wealth and wisdom and knowledge of God? Who can understand his decisions or explain what he does?

I knew instantly, that he was speaking to me.

We cannot see Gods plans because we often operate in the now, but God already knows the plans he has for us. Even when things seem hard, he is always working behind the scenes.

Jeremiah 29:11 says: For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

His timing and his way is everything. Things that do not feel good to my flesh are really working for me in the spiritual realm. I just have to TRUST that they are. Trusting can be so hard, because I want control and I want to feel good. I don't want to feel uncomfortable.

Romans 8:28: We know that God is always at work for the good of everyone who loves him. They are the ones God has chosen for his purpose.

So the question I am asking myself now is, why not me? I am going to hold his hand the entire way through. I am going to cry to him, laugh with him, journal to him, dance for him, and lean on him everyday.



You can do the same sis.....